After a gay couple was attacked in an apparent hate crime in the Netherlands, their heterosexual countrymen began posting photos of themselves walking hand-in-hand under the hashtag #allemannenhandinhand, which translates as “all men, holding hands.”
The photos will bring joy to your hearts. Politicians, businessmen, professional athletes, even some police and clergy participated.
The couple, Jasper Vernes-Sewratan, 35, and Ronnie Sewratan-Vernes, 31, were walking home from a date night early Sunday morning when they encountered a group of teens who set upon them and reportedly beat them with bolt cutters. The two men had been holding hands when they were targeted. According to his public Facebook post about the incident, Jasper said that Ronnie lost at least five teeth in the attack. Although Facebook’s translation-to-English tool is a bit hinky, his anguish came through loud and clear. “That this can still happen in 2017 is incomprehensible and hard to understand because in the end, we are just Dutch in our own country, but it can’t be like that, apparently, in terms of homosexuality.”
The solidarity campaign began when Dutch magazine publisher Barbara Berend tweeted, “Kunnen deze hele week alle mannen (hetero en homo) alsjeblieft gewoon hand in hand lopen..” or, “Can this whole week all men (straight and gay) please just walk hand in hand..”
And they did! Dutch men did the work this week all over the world. Here are some employees of the Netherlands at the U.N. walking across Third Avenue in New York City. Here are men from the Dutch embassy in London. And Lodewijk Asscher, the Deputy Prime Minister posted a photo of himself strolling casually on the beach while holding hands with Jeroen Dijsselbloem, the Dutch Finance Minister.
Allyship can be a tricky thing, but this worked. The notion of men who don’t typically hold hands walking around in full clasp is just awkward enough to be a compelling visual, but the sweet matter-of-factness of the participants kept the campaign from turning into a distraction. It was also a reminder that a true heart can still beat under a power tie, which, to be honest, can be easy to forget.
To be an ally is to take a risk. Now, the straight men in the photos are probably not in danger of being beaten for their actions, though some will get some trash thrown at them on social media. And they now have a lovely memento of themselves being part of something good. But I’m thinking about the idea phase of this operation. The men who planned and staged the pictures, and the ones who fell silent and ultimately opted out. Maybe someone said something homophobic. Maybe a closeted person felt fear. I’m thinking about the conversations that might not have gone so well, as colleagues and loved ones found themselves on opposite sides of a line that nobody knew was there.
That’s the other risk that allies face. By taking a stand for someone else, people can send disruptive ripples through their actual relationships. Staying connected to those on the other side of the line is a different sort of work, and allies do it every day, away from the praise of columnists, without a hashtag to keep them company.